Have you ever wondered why you feel like your insides are crushed into tiny pieces during sentimental moments of the holidays? From around this time until January I am often finding myself looking at my beautiful children. I watch them sleep with innocent faces wondering what they are dreaming of, and if those dreams will come true. I see their eyes light up with wonder when the Christmas tree goes up and the stockings get hung. I hear their giggles of glee while they run around the basement with their cousins. I feel their excitement as they try with all their might to fall asleep (or stay awake) in anticipation of Santa. And each of these memories, that make my heart so happy, also seem to remind me that these moments are fleeting. There are only so many Santa sightings left that hold the magic that a young child's does. There are only so many Thanksgivings where I don't have to share them with another loved one. There are only so many more Christmas mornings where I will be able to sit there with my cup of coffee and watch them play with their new toys in their pajamas. I know there will be new and different memories, and I hope there will be grandchildren one day. But in this special season, I remind myself to treasure each moment. I try to remember to put the to-do list aside and sit down for a book or a hug. I urge myself to let my daughter help me make the treats and forget the mess that will be made and not care if I have to make it again. Because this is the last Christmas she will ever be five years old.
Even as I am typing this my son looked at me and asked "are you sad? You look like you are sad." And I told him that no, I am not sad. I am nostalgic for years past and hopeful for the future. And one of my biggest wishes is that I will never look back and say I wish I did that differently because I will never have a chance to do it again.
So love with all of your heart this season. Be truly Thankful as you sit around your beautiful meal with your family. Even if it is McDonalds or pizza the beauty is not in the meal...it is in the family.
Make some wonderful memories this week...
Vicki
Macaroni Kid regulars:
